Wondering What Dress to Wear Now

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xxx REST IN POWER xxx Read the full post »

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Drop You Off

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A Void Dance 02

pulse_line_kick_beat_lightMust be my birthday. I got a toxic gift that keeps on giving. These guys have still not forgotten about me. It is beyond passing knowledge. The last time I stood close, I could clearly hear my name being called out. I heard a woman’s voice, but saw no one to claim it. It did not occur to me to look up. What could I have seen in the noise and smoke? The futility of hiding behind questions. It did not occur to me to look up.

It was eerie. Not the usual butcher job on my name. Straight out. As I turned back and forth to scan the crowd to see where the sound was coming from, I felt like someone was Read the full post »

A Void Dance

two-dogsAll the signs are there to connect the dots and solve this rebus. There is no such thing as coincidence? Yet, their coinciding dance shows they aimed to have things happen stance as they did. All set? Action. It meant nothing but yet another bouquet of harassment to me. How was I to know that the guy I ditched was connected to that club… and quite a lot else.

What do you get when you combine police, a square, and a club? Him. (Or a surveillance camera watched by him, but that was not clear at the time.) Did I not walk away because I got tired of him? Not to mention that I had been forced Read the full post »

Dude from the Club

CounterattackShame cropped up afterwards. But, at the time, I was so preoccupied with getting away, that I resorted to violence. Nice example setting. It is no use blaming him. I hit him. He jumped up and apologized. Sort of. The point is that I did not. I need to stop that aggressive act. I could have just stopped and groaned about him blocking my way. Like I did yesterday, when that girl saw me come up behind her and she still blocked the way. I did not hit her. So, I know full well to put a lid on it.

The guy was not out when I went by to apologize, so I had to carry the apology back home. I need to make amends without engaging with any of them. How difficult! How can people believe that half amends work? It goes for him as well. He was quick to apologize, Read the full post »

What You Are 02

Ghost Photographs Angela Deane 12

What you are, the world is

Your truth is construed to project

Write the blame unto your victims

Shield your selves with religious systems

Laugh at the confusion you orchestrated Read the full post »

What You Are

iris-legendre-family-memories-7 ASD

“What you are, the world is.”

Such a lie. Truth is not

Found in books, says the book.

As long as the reader knows

Not does it seem better truth.

The knower reads, the lies show.

Mislead to continue, the book shows Read the full post »

A Million Air

What did he think that I was going to say? Of course I was not going to fight for him if he wanted out of the relationship. Why would I want to be with someone who did not want to be with me? Did he really expect me to pretend otherwise? His surprise seemed to suggest so.

He had laid out a trap, but it did not work. He wanted me to want the relationship and to be willing to do (almost) anything to keep it. He must have been watching too much unreality TV. I looked straight into his glaring eyeballs, and told him that I was not Read the full post »

Food Poisoning

I had told him about my diet. And he seemed to understand. Yet, he was of no help. He put the snack right next to me on the bench and waited. He did not have to wait long. I dove in. As I could stop myself after one bite, he decided to take matters further into his own hands. He handed me a big piece which I accepted. His trap worked. He had made it seem like it was my fault because I could not contain myself, but I recognized that he had laid out the bait. I knew it, but I refused to believe it.

He put the food in front of me on the table and waited. As it caught my attention, he started to protest that it was not for me. I Read the full post »

Deep End

They told me about this thing called “easy living”, and I wanted them to guide me to it. They had promised me all kinds of equal rights, and I was interested. I could not see that they were not granted equal rights themselves. I could not see that I was definitely talking to the wrong people to teach me how to get anywhere easy.

What was this “easy living”? To go wherever I wanted to go, to do whatever I wanted to do, to meet nice people, and be part of a nice happy family? I did not mind all that, I had already been Read the full post »

Always On Stage 02

A computer game. I should have known it to be. But with a preference for ‘honest work’, I could not stand to see the reality of it. It took me long enough to understand that computers cheat and people trick. To learn computer code and to see people shift. But that is not enough to win.

A computer game. They play together and pretend independence. Just look at them. They play so well that they should be able to afford to pay me for my work. Art of the scam to lure the prey in. False answer to their Read the full post »