A Void Dance 02

pulse_line_kick_beat_lightMust be my birthday. I got a toxic gift that keeps on giving. These guys have still not forgotten about me. It is beyond passing knowledge. The last time I stood close, I could clearly hear my name being called out. I heard a woman’s voice, but saw no one to claim it. It did not occur to me to look up. What could I have seen in the noise and smoke? The futility of hiding behind questions. It did not occur to me to look up.

It was eerie. Not the usual butcher job on my name. Straight out. As I turned back and forth to scan the crowd to see where the sound was coming from, I felt like someone was Read the full post »

A Void Dance

two-dogsAll the signs are there to connect the dots and solve this rebus. There is no such thing as coincidence? Yet, their coinciding dance shows they aimed to have things happen stance as they did. All set? Action. It meant nothing but yet another bouquet of harassment to me. How was I to know that the guy I ditched was connected to that club… and quite a lot else.

What do you get when you combine police, a square, and a club? Him. (Or a surveillance camera watched by him, but that was not clear at the time.) Did I not walk away because I got tired of him? Not to mention that I had been forced Read the full post »

Dude from the Club

CounterattackShame cropped up afterwards. But, at the time, I was so preoccupied with getting away, that I resorted to violence. Nice example setting. It is no use blaming him. I hit him. He jumped up and apologized. Sort of. The point is that I did not. I need to stop that aggressive act. I could have just stopped and groaned about him blocking my way. Like I did yesterday, when that girl saw me come up behind her and she still blocked the way. I did not hit her. So, I know full well to put a lid on it.

The guy was not out when I went by to apologize, so I had to carry the apology back home. I need to make amends without engaging with any of them. How difficult! How can people believe that half amends work? It goes for him as well. He was quick to apologize, Read the full post »

Tilted Mind

Image result for dog tilted headI was determined to ignore the club and the guys working there. I had already forgotten why, but after I hit this guy in front of that club – and had a good talk with myself to not repeat that behavior again – it came to me. I first thought one of them had looked me up and down a year before. But, I now had a clear memory of how he had tilted his head to look underneath my dress. There was nothing to see because I had leggings on. Still, I found it disgusting for a grown [@$$] man to do that.

No, I was not mistaken. I had sun glasses on, so he was not trying to look into my eyes. He was tilting his head to look underneath my dress. He was behaving inappropriately out in public. That is why I came to ignore him and his crew. I judged them as nasty, and I did not even want to look at them. Read the full post »

Psychos on my Path

Not Your DayIt is annoying. There I was writing on psychopaths that have trespassed into my life, and trying to make sense of attack behaviors and response behaviors. But then I picked up Puzzling People by Thomas Sheridan, to read about what took me years to figure out for myself. I am only at page 16, but I am so annoyed that I cannot read any further. I have to write on my annoyance first.

1. I am annoyed with Sheridan.
How can I be annoyed with Sheridan? I agree with most of what I have read so far. I actually learned something that I had not thought up yet. On page 4 it says: “There is no part-time Read the full post »

What You Are 02

Ghost Photographs Angela Deane 12

What you are, the world is

Your truth is construed to project

Write the blame unto your victims

Shield your selves with religious systems

Laugh at the confusion you orchestrated Read the full post »

What You Are

iris-legendre-family-memories-7 ASD

“What you are, the world is.”

Such a lie. Truth is not

Found in books, says the book.

As long as the reader knows

Not does it seem better truth.

The knower reads, the lies show.

Mislead to continue, the book shows Read the full post »

Catch Them Sink

family_set_bigTo keep reminding myself that they are not individuals, and as a group they have proven over and again to use attack formations. They have no reason to discuss things with me, because they enjoy discussing me among themselves.

It left me to guess, where I should have known to leave. It was the plan. For me to tie things up and leave. But, they had already decided that it was not to be. Their two-prone attack standard tactic by then. None of them Read the full post »

Kitchen Sink 02

It had not been easy to study for the exam. I did not feel too well, but I had already let two other opportunities pass. This time I was not going to let illness stop me from finishing the course.

Her house was a standard ill-decorated home. Nothing special, except for the fact that I started to feel worse being there. There was a weird vibe, that I could not relate to anything.

In the kitchen there was a bare wooden table. I had expected to do an exam in an office or study. No, the kitchen table was not doing it for me. I did not think to protest out loud. Read the full post »

Kitchen Sink

Onions-goodmeme-netIt was beyond weird. I went to take the exam at a teacher’s home. I did not like the idea of it, but I was eager to pass the exam to prove a point. I had never seen this woman before, and she had a weird vibe about her. And, when I saw the weird setting for the exam, I found it hard to control my nerves. I did not feel comfortable sitting at the dining table in her kitchen. Did she not have a study or office? What was going on?

That teacher clearly did not like me. She came up with questions for a beginner-level exam instead of the advanced level I had prepared for. She asked me definitions and numbers – that I was not allowed to look up contrary to procedures set for the standard exam – instead of procedures and costs.  Read the full post »

Stage Presence

She always had something negative to say about men. So, I was surprised to hear that she had met a guy she liked. She told me that she had met him on the flight back home. She had talked to him, and he had been really nice to her. He had already given her nice presents and she wanted to see more of him. She had invited him over to have an early dinner with us at the Indian restaurant we had selected.

He was running late. As we started to order some starters, I expected her to come up with some lame excuse about why he could not make it after all. But, no, there he was. I had no doubt Read the full post »