What You Are 02

Ghost Photographs Angela Deane 12

What you are, the world is

Your truth is construed to project

Write the blame unto your victims

Shield your selves with religious systems

Laugh at the confusion you orchestrated Read the full post »

What You Are

iris-legendre-family-memories-7 ASD

“What you are, the world is.”

Such a lie. Truth is not

Found in books, says the book.

As long as the reader knows

Not does it seem better truth.

The knower reads, the lies show.

Mislead to continue, the book shows Read the full post »

Catch Them Sink

family_set_bigTo keep reminding myself that they are not individuals, and as a group they have proven over and again to use attack formations. They have no reason to discuss things with me, because they enjoy discussing me among themselves.

It left me to guess, where I should have known to leave. It was the plan. For me to tie things up and leave. But, they had already decided that it was not to be. Their two-prone attack standard tactic by then. None of them Read the full post »

Kitchen Sink 02

It had not been easy to study for the exam. I did not feel too well, but I had already let two other opportunities pass. This time I was not going to let illness stop me from finishing the course.

Her house was a standard ill-decorated home. Nothing special, except for the fact that I started to feel worse being there. There was a weird vibe, that I could not relate to anything.

In the kitchen there was a bare wooden table. I had expected to do an exam in an office or study. No, the kitchen table was not doing it for me. I did not think to protest out loud. Read the full post »

Kitchen Sink

Onions-goodmeme-netIt was beyond weird. I went to take the exam at a teacher’s home. I did not like the idea of it, but I was eager to pass the exam to prove a point. I had never seen this woman before, and she had a weird vibe about her. And, when I saw the weird setting for the exam, I found it hard to control my nerves. I did not feel comfortable sitting at the dining table in her kitchen. Did she not have a study or office? What was going on?

That teacher clearly did not like me. She came up with questions for a beginner-level exam instead of the advanced level I had prepared for. She asked me definitions and numbers – that I was not allowed to look up contrary to procedures set for the standard exam – instead of procedures and costs.  Read the full post »

Stage Presence

She always had something negative to say about men. So, I was surprised to hear that she had met a guy she liked. She told me that she had met him on the flight back home. She had talked to him, and he had been really nice to her. He had already given her nice presents and she wanted to see more of him. She had invited him over to have an early dinner with us at the Indian restaurant we had selected.

He was running late. As we started to order some starters, I expected her to come up with some lame excuse about why he could not make it after all. But, no, there he was. I had no doubt Read the full post »

A Million Air

What did he think that I was going to say? Of course I was not going to fight for him if he wanted out of the relationship. Why would I want to be with someone who did not want to be with me? Did he really expect me to pretend otherwise? His surprise seemed to suggest so.

He had laid out a trap, but it did not work. He wanted me to want the relationship and to be willing to do (almost) anything to keep it. He must have been watching too much unreality TV. I looked straight into his glaring eyeballs, and told him that I was not Read the full post »

Food Poisoning

I had told him about my diet. And he seemed to understand. Yet, he was of no help. He put the snack right next to me on the bench and waited. He did not have to wait long. I dove in. As I could stop myself after one bite, he decided to take matters further into his own hands. He handed me a big piece which I accepted. His trap worked. He had made it seem like it was my fault because I could not contain myself, but I recognized that he had laid out the bait. I knew it, but I refused to believe it.

He put the food in front of me on the table and waited. As it caught my attention, he started to protest that it was not for me. I Read the full post »

Deep End

They told me about this thing called “easy living”, and I wanted them to guide me to it. They had promised me all kinds of equal rights, and I was interested. I could not see that they were not granted equal rights themselves. I could not see that I was definitely talking to the wrong people to teach me how to get anywhere easy.

What was this “easy living”? To go wherever I wanted to go, to do whatever I wanted to do, to meet nice people, and be part of a nice happy family? I did not mind all that, I had already been Read the full post »

Always On Stage 02

A computer game. I should have known it to be. But with a preference for ‘honest work’, I could not stand to see the reality of it. It took me long enough to understand that computers cheat and people trick. To learn computer code and to see people shift. But that is not enough to win.

A computer game. They play together and pretend independence. Just look at them. They play so well that they should be able to afford to pay me for my work. Art of the scam to lure the prey in. False answer to their Read the full post »

Always On Stage

It was my work to help, but I felt halting resistance. Why could I not accept their behavior as minor shortcomings? Why did it matter that they tried to manipulate me into doing what I would do anyway, if they would pay for it? Ah, there it is: “if they would pay for it”. They did not only manipulate to get me to take responsibility for their mess. No, they manipulated to have me do it for free. Thieves.

I needed to see it in writing before I could get it. I had been distracted by the behavior itself, so I could not see their real Read the full post »


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